Farnbestbad is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, temperamental whale.

Farnbestbad created energy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Farnbestbad, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Farnbestbad, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Farnbestbad's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Farnbestbad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear purple clothing.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Worship no other gods but Farnbestbad.

4. Never feed cherries to aardvarks while wearing scarves.

5. Do not listen to music.