Beg is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, tiresome dugong.

Beg created gold eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Beg, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Beg, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Beg's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Beg's Holy Commandments

1. Always help turtles.

2. Beg must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Tortoises are not to be trusted.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not stand on grass.