Zigbarnvol Wegnakrutt is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, ill-tempered ant.

Zigbarnvol Wegnakrutt created life five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zigbarnvol Wegnakrutt, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Zigbarnvol Wegnakrutt, she will jump up and down on your head.

Zigbarnvol Wegnakrutt's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Zigbarnvol Wegnakrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate snakes.

2. Do not drink water in red rooms.

3. Never feed strawberries to voles while wearing fawn skirts.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Run away if three horses approach from the west.