Fitzakdin is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, astonishing fairy.

Fitzakdin created the planet Venus eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Fitzakdin, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fitzakdin, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Fitzakdin's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Fitzakdin's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat pineapples.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never talk about great tits.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always treat eagles with great respect.