Hatzanjarnwig is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, egotistical otter.

Hatzanjarnwig created life seven million years ago.

If you believe in Hatzanjarnwig, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hatzanjarnwig, it will think nothing of it.

Hatzanjarnwig's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Hatzanjarnwig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick manatees.

2. Never mention eagles.

3. Always look after injured monkeys.

4. Never feed bananas to voles while wearing corsets.

5. Erect three silicon sculptures of Hatzanjarnwig on top of important buildings.