Bappasxuck is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, awe-inspiring elephant.

Bappasxuck created silver three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bappasxuck, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bappasxuck, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bappasxuck's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Bappasxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never think about nucleic acids.

5. Never go into blue rooms.