Faggamstan is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, calm mongoose.

Faggamstan created parasitic wasps four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Faggamstan, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Faggamstan, she will turn you into a puffin.

Faggamstan's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Faggamstan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bananas.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not speak about cherries.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.