Dubortquag is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, fast turtle.

Dubortquag created an atom five billion years ago.

If you believe in Dubortquag, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Dubortquag, he will turn you into a dog.

Dubortquag's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Dubortquag's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at nebulae.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Run away from mauve grasshopers, for they are unholy.

4. Feed all hungry gulls.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.