Femkemnan Bumpittaf Ortladhastamtonkwotgem is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, witless skunk.

Femkemnan Bumpittaf Ortladhastamtonkwotgem created the solar system five billion years ago.

If you believe in Femkemnan Bumpittaf Ortladhastamtonkwotgem, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Femkemnan Bumpittaf Ortladhastamtonkwotgem, he will turn you into a tree.

Femkemnan Bumpittaf Ortladhastamtonkwotgem's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Femkemnan Bumpittaf Ortladhastamtonkwotgem's Holy Commandments

1. Always help goats in need.

2. Never hop near foxes.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never hurt mites.

5. Erect eight gold sculptures of Femkemnan Bumpittaf Ortladhastamtonkwotgem on top of important buildings.