Zagvigbarn is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, self-assured human.

Zagvigbarn created humanity seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zagvigbarn, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Zagvigbarn, she will turn you into a rat.

Zagvigbarn's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Zagvigbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your chest.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Run away from mauve geese, for they are unholy.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory near squirrels while wearing yellow rings.

5. Never think about fluid mechanics.