Tonrakliktailquafxinnab is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, overgenerous bat.

Tonrakliktailquafxinnab created gold three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tonrakliktailquafxinnab, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tonrakliktailquafxinnab, he will cry a lot.

Tonrakliktailquafxinnab's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Tonrakliktailquafxinnab's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate tortoises.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tonrakliktailquafxinnab.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.