Quatquimvid is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, annoying tortoise.

Quatquimvid created the universe four million years ago.

If you believe in Quatquimvid, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Quatquimvid, she will turn you into a hamster.

Quatquimvid's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Quatquimvid's Holy Commandments

1. Quatquimvid must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never think ill of sick otters.

3. Do not sit in public.

4. Never look at planets.

5. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.