Betkikvab is a god.
He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, cheerful
walrus.
Betkikvab created matter three thousand years ago.
If you believe in
Betkikvab, he will give you the power of flight.
If you do not believe in
Betkikvab, he will turn you into a sheep.
Betkikvab's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.
Betkikvab's Holy Commandments1. You must love Betkikvab.
2. Never mention frogs.
3. Never chant in holy places.
4. Do not wear turquoise clothing.
5. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a room before entering it.