Capzakfem is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, merciful duck.

Capzakfem created light twelve years ago.

If you believe in Capzakfem, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Capzakfem, it will destroy your home planet.

Capzakfem's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Capzakfem's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat parsnips.

2. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Capzakfem in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never talk about dolphins.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Capzakfem.