Larpcamciss is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, unselfish parrot.

Larpcamciss created humanity seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larpcamciss, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Larpcamciss, he will turn you into a rat.

Larpcamciss' most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Larpcamciss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never run in the presence of ducks.

3. Never feed carrots to manatees while wearing magenta dresses.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Larpcamciss.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory.