Bamhotcunquag is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, unselfish horse.

Bamhotcunquag created humankind two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bamhotcunquag, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bamhotcunquag, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Bamhotcunquag's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Bamhotcunquag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about gooseberries.

2. Never go into brown rooms.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always obey Bamhotcunquag's priests.