Weenurlsan is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, staggering troll.

Weenurlsan created a Higgs boson five million years ago.

If you believe in Weenurlsan, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Weenurlsan, he will refuse to believe in you.

Weenurlsan's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Weenurlsan's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Weenurlsan.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Learn five new languages a year.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.