Bedlimpark is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, amazing warg.

Bedlimpark created the planet Mars four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bedlimpark, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bedlimpark, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Bedlimpark's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Bedlimpark's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at nebulae.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bedlimpark.

3. Do not eat bananas.

4. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never write about planets.