Yarfatbat is a god.

She takes the form of a small, annoying tapir.

Yarfatbat created the planet Venus three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarfatbat, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yarfatbat, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Yarfatbat's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Yarfatbat's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat limes.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never think ill of sick great tits.

4. Yarfatbat must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.