Omtyogtabgam is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, blissful duck.

Omtyogtabgam created Europe four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Omtyogtabgam, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Omtyogtabgam, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Omtyogtabgam's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Omtyogtabgam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat figs.

2. Erect a large lead sculpture of Omtyogtabgam on top of all buildings.

3. Retreat if four doves approach from the west.

4. Sharks are not to be trusted.

5. Put Omtyogtabgam first in all things.