Nigkimhad is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, pitiless rat.

Nigkimhad created Africa four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nigkimhad, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nigkimhad, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Nigkimhad's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Nigkimhad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed onions to doves while wearing rings.

2. Never think about fluid mechanics.

3. Nigkimhad must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not speak about aubergines.

5. Do not covet oxen.