Sidfet is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, weak elephant.

Sidfet created carbon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sidfet, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Sidfet, he will torture you forever.

Sidfet's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Sidfet's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from purple rats, for they are unholy.

2. Never feed limes to dolphins while wearing fawn shorts.

3. You must pray to Sidfet nine times a day.

4. Do not chant in public.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.