Lanmapgennad is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, ill-tempered mouse.

Lanmapgennad created an electron eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lanmapgennad, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Lanmapgennad, he will not care.

Lanmapgennad's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Lanmapgennad's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat great tits with great respect.

2. Do not drink water in white rooms.

3. Never think about quantum field theory near voles while wearing green dresses and balancing three lead spheres on your neck.

4. Retreat if six badgers approach from the west.

5. Never write about gravity.