Goffedpoddudyam is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, slow guinea pig.

Goffedpoddudyam created the Sombrero Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Goffedpoddudyam, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Goffedpoddudyam, she will turn you into a tree.

Goffedpoddudyam's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Goffedpoddudyam's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Goffedpoddudyam.

2. Goffedpoddudyam must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not drink water in black rooms.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.