Titvidyam Carruttyarp is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, weak wombat.

Titvidyam Carruttyarp created the Black Eye Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Titvidyam Carruttyarp, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Titvidyam Carruttyarp, she will destroy your home planet.

Titvidyam Carruttyarp's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Titvidyam Carruttyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Hide from orange swans for they are unholy.

3. Put Titvidyam Carruttyarp first in all things.

4. Never go into red rooms.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.