Fadxuckdub is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, narcissistic coyote.

Fadxuckdub created the planet Mars five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fadxuckdub, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fadxuckdub, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Fadxuckdub's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Fadxuckdub's Holy Commandments

1. Fadxuckdub loves nematodes, so they must be respected.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Feed all hungry squirrels.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never hurt shrews.