Labbamdud is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, boastful crab.

Labbamdud created the Whirlpool Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Labbamdud, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Labbamdud, she will turn you into a snail.

Labbamdud's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Labbamdud's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never wear mauve skirts.

4. Do not keep five dolphins in a large pit.

5. Do not dye your hair black.