Mitshavhot is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, quiet meerkat.

Mitshavhot created the planet Jupiter six million years ago.

If you believe in Mitshavhot, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Mitshavhot, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Mitshavhot's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Mitshavhot's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear scarves.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. You must pray to Mitshavhot seven times a day.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always help sheep.