Xuckgempop is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, self-confident ferret.

Xuckgempop created a top quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckgempop, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Xuckgempop, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Xuckgempop's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Xuckgempop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair indigo.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate frogs.

4. Never jump in the presence of manatees.

5. Fast once a month.