Quamquatrap is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, quiet gnu.

Quamquatrap created time and space three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quamquatrap, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Quamquatrap, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Quamquatrap's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Quamquatrap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your arms.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near badgers while wearing violet scarves and balancing six silver spheres on your chest.

4. Erect eight titanium sculptures of Quamquatrap on top of important buildings.

5. Run away from mauve cats, for they are unholy.