Fossvedyik is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, kind jaguar.

Fossvedyik created light four million years ago.

If you believe in Fossvedyik, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Fossvedyik, it will send minions to preach to you.

Fossvedyik's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Fossvedyik's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed carrots to pigs while wearing fawn jumpers.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always wear magenta.

5. Never leap in holy places.