Tomgumjon is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, all-powerful finch.

Tomgumjon created the planet Jupiter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tomgumjon, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tomgumjon, it will destroy your favourite star.

Tomgumjon's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Tomgumjon's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint near nematodes.

2. Never talk about black holes.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always help pigs in need.

5. Rats are unholy and should not be approached.