Vonmetfemcedstiphub is a god.
It takes the form of a fat, charitable
mole.
Vonmetfemcedstiphub created carbon seven trillion years ago.
If you believe in
Vonmetfemcedstiphub, it will look favourably on your prayers.
If you do not believe in
Vonmetfemcedstiphub, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.
Vonmetfemcedstiphub's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.
Vonmetfemcedstiphub's Holy Commandments1. Do not dye your hair turquoise.
2. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.
3. Never talk about nebulae.
4. You must pray to Vonmetfemcedstiphub seven times a day.
5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.