Lanflamdod is a god.

It takes the form of a small, self-assured shrew.

Lanflamdod created parasitic wasps seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lanflamdod, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Lanflamdod, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Lanflamdod's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Lanflamdod's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Lanflamdod on top of all buildings.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snails.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.