Betingpod is a god.

She takes the form of a small, idiotic hydra.

Betingpod created light eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Betingpod, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Betingpod, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Betingpod's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Betingpod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt turtles.

2. You must never eat melons.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. You must pray to Betingpod four times a day.

5. Do not make images of living things.