Madjatsis is a god.

He takes the form of a large, tranquil swan.

Madjatsis created the Large Magellanic Cloud five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Madjatsis, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Madjatsis, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Madjatsis' most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Madjatsis' Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

5. Never wear indigo scarves.