Cemhittetti Hudjan is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, idiotic swallow.

Cemhittetti Hudjan created an up quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cemhittetti Hudjan, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Cemhittetti Hudjan, it will have a low opinion of you.

Cemhittetti Hudjan's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Cemhittetti Hudjan's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cemhittetti Hudjan.

2. Never think about optics near ducks while wearing black corsets and balancing three copper spheres on your face.

3. Do not chant in public.

4. Never hop in holy places.

5. Never talk about spacetime.