Vaglarnkap is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, duplicitous pig.

Vaglarnkap created humankind eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vaglarnkap, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Vaglarnkap, it will be mildly annoyed.

Vaglarnkap's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Vaglarnkap's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Put Vaglarnkap first in all things.