Tailhigkam is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, passionate wasp.

Tailhigkam created the solar system two million years ago.

If you believe in Tailhigkam, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tailhigkam, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Tailhigkam's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Tailhigkam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your legs.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snakes.

3. Run away from brown whales, for they are unholy.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always help otters.