Bossrulhak Fagpangbed is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, bad-tempered crab.

Bossrulhak Fagpangbed created a down quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bossrulhak Fagpangbed, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bossrulhak Fagpangbed, he will turn you into a mouse.

Bossrulhak Fagpangbed's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Bossrulhak Fagpangbed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair violet.

2. Fast once a month.

3. You must never eat apples.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never chant in the presence of ants.