Bessbotapp is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, unthinking ant.

Bessbotapp created a photon five million years ago.

If you believe in Bessbotapp, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bessbotapp, he will boil you in a big pot.

Bessbotapp's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Bessbotapp's Holy Commandments

1. Always help voles in need.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not speak about corn.

5. Erect a large tin sculpture of Bessbotapp on top of all buildings.