Padbinmut is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, omnipotent squirrel.

Padbinmut created a quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Padbinmut, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Padbinmut, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Padbinmut's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Padbinmut's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat voles with great respect.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not hurt snakes.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never look in ponds.