Queeg is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, witless porpoise.

Queeg created tapeworms five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Queeg, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Queeg, she will turn you into a mole.

Queeg's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Queeg's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Queeg.

5. Never run in holy places.