Nurlnurdim is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unjust cow.

Nurlnurdim created an up quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlnurdim, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nurlnurdim, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Nurlnurdim's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Nurlnurdim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat cucumbers.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Hide if six shrews approach from the north.

5. Do not covet oxen.