Gutarmgab is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, vain duck.

Gutarmgab created the Virgo Supercluster four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gutarmgab, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gutarmgab, he will boil you in a big pot.

Gutarmgab's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Gutarmgab's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat strawberries.

2. Moths are not to be trusted.

3. Put Gutarmgab first in all things.

4. Gutarmgab must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not drink alcohol.