Yamlitquart is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, humorless goblin.

Yamlitquart created bats two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yamlitquart, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Yamlitquart, she will not care.

Yamlitquart's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Yamlitquart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

2. Never mention sharks.

3. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yamlitquart.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.