Cutgomyost is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, unsympathetic dove.

Cutgomyost created Africa four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cutgomyost, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Cutgomyost, it will make you grow a tail.

Cutgomyost's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Cutgomyost's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a room before entering it.

5. Never paint your legs violet.