Yartikxem is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, proud owl.

Yartikxem created a down quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Yartikxem, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yartikxem, she will be mildly annoyed.

Yartikxem's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Yartikxem's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Yartikxem in the centre of the settlement.

2. Run away if six aardvarks approach from the south.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always wear black.