Gumcidrawciss is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, fussy ferret.

Gumcidrawciss created dark matter two million years ago.

If you believe in Gumcidrawciss, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gumcidrawciss, he will turn you into a frog.

Gumcidrawciss' most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Gumcidrawciss' Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always wear green.