Batbotjig is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, omniscient mouse.

Batbotjig created the Cigar Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Batbotjig, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Batbotjig, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Batbotjig's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Batbotjig's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four snails approach from the north.

2. Never bounce in holy places.

3. Never mention tortoises.

4. Learn five new languages a year.

5. Never wear shirts.